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Too many Robins by Speechless_since_1998
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), DCU, DCU (Comics)
10 Nov 2024
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“You shouldn't be here, little bird,” Nightwing growled, irritated. “Didn't the old man tell you to stay at home?”
“Um…no?”
He snorted, “Figures. Hypocritical bastard…if I had done it, he would have grounded me for months! But not you, you're already his favorite and..."
“Nigthwing,” Batman interrupted, landing in front of them. He stared at them, “What are you doing?”
He rolled his eyes, “Can't you see? I'll get Robin back in line."
“Nightwing…”
“What, only you can do that? Or does he have the green light for everything? Way to play favorites, Batman..."
"Nightwing," Batman said again, more decisive, but not angry. If anything, he seemed confused. “That's not Robin.”
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Weirdos need to stick together by Speechless_since_1998
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
08 Nov 2024
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"You finally showed up!" Harley Quinn exclaimed as she saw Batman storm into her house. " Three weeks, Batsy! What took you so long?!"
It was almost ridiculous to be scolded as if he were the one who helped Poison Ivy escape from Arkham, but the vigilante was honestly speechless.
"Three weeks?" he repeated, maintaining an I am the night tone of voice, so as not to appear too stupid. "Poison Ivy escaped last night."
Harley Quinn snorted, "Seriously? That's what you're here for? Come on, you should get your priorities straight, Batsy! Red is no threat!"
(In which both Harley and Batman's reaction to a lonely, sad child in Gotham is the same.)
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How Difficult Can It Be? by Speechless_since_1998
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
05 Nov 2024
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"Well?" Bruce said impatiently. “What do you want to know?”
“How about you tell me why the hell I should pretend to be your boyfriend to your adopted son?” Superman asked, his mouth feeling dry and strangely itchy again.
Bruce, master tactician, did it with a single sentence, "This way I don't have to tell him I'm Batman."
Silence again. Then, as if shaken out of his torpor, Superman blurted out a sincere, “Bruce…what the hell?!”
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It took an embarrassingly long time for anyone to realize that Lance was possessed by an ancient alien deity, and it took almost dying at the hands of the Galra to realize it.
“ Ah, the highlight. Welcome, black paladin.”
Keith wants to say he said something heroic, maybe like in those movies Shiro had shown him at the Garrison, but his mind was a single white sound, too busy staring at Lance and imagining things that would make a nun blush.
“Hey, this is no time to be drooling like a dog in heat!” Pidge brought him back to reality. “ Do something! Possibly soon before…”
A root covered her mouth, while Lance said in relief, “It's about time! She's always so annoying. If only she had something useful to say. No, only insults and jokes at the expense of this body. I'm surprised my vessel didn't slit her throat. He never even thought about it!”
(An ancient god takes possession of Lance's body, and has some choice words for the Voltron team. Especially for Keith.)
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Come here, little bunny by Speechless_since_1998
Fandoms: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga), Yu-Gi-Oh! Series
01 Nov 2024
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“Explain to me one more time how we ended up this way,” Seto growled, clutching his arms to his chest, and trying to sound intimidating.
The bedroom where he had changed was making him feel suffocated, and he felt the desire to kill someone.
It was next to impossible to look menacing in his current state, forced to wear a plaboy bunny costume straight out of some B-magazine.
The only consolation was that Wheeler was in the same condition.
“We lost a bet and now we pay the price."
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Preventive rescue by Speechless_since_1998
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics), The Batman (Movie 2022)
22 Oct 2024
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" Darling, do you remember our wedding vows?" Selina asked him, walking into his study with her arms behind her back.
Bruce closed his eyes, and prayed to any higher being to give him the strength to face whatever Selina was now about to throw in his way.
He gave her a long, painful look, “What did you steal this time? Who should I call?”
“Your lawyers,” she replied, popping a kid, barely younger than Jason, from behind her, looking just as confused as he did. “We're about to adopt another one.”
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The stork arrives by Speechless_since_1998
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
20 Oct 2024
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"Why are they acting weird? Is this some lore thing you didn't think to mention in your trash novel?"
"Bro...didn't you notice? No nausea, headache, weakness..."
“I don't have any nausea, but I miss Luo Binghe's congee.”
"Obviously..."
“Obviously what?” he repeated the question, feeling more and more frustrated.
The other blushed,"Mhm...sooner or later it had to happen. I mean, the celestial pillar can't shoot in vain, it's like a rule, and my protagonist has always been very...effusive with you, so it's not a surprise, but it's surprising that you didn't figure it out yourself, when the System should have warned you and..."
"Cut it short," he ordered. “You're not making any sense!”
"Congratulation, you are pregnant!"
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Isis and Osiris by Speechless_since_1998
Fandoms: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga), Yu-Gi-Oh! Series
17 Oct 2024
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"Mr. Kaiba," Ishizu said, seeing him enter his office at the museum. "I should have guessed it was you. Usually, when someone comes to visit me, they knock."
“I didn't think you'd appreciate the pleasantries.”
"From you, I don't expect the behaviour of an ordinary person," she replied, looking at him with those ancient eyes, old beyond the age of her body. She asked him, "Why are you here?"
"Your family is descended from the guardians of the royal tombs. Correct?"
"Yes."
"And you..." he couldn't believe he would say that. He swallowed his pride, and continued, "You know ancient Egyptian magic."
"We do. "
"Among these ancient arts...is there anything to...to bring the dead back to life?"
(Where if technology can't help him get the duel he deserves, Seto will do the impossible and use magic)
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Whatever stirs my mortal frame, will you keep it warm at night? by Speechless_since_1998
Fandoms: Fairy Tail
13 Oct 2024
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The guild didn't make him feel at home for years now. Ever since Lisanna died, Natsu felt more isolated than ever, like when he joined Fairy Tail.
Natsu felt alone. But he had Happy, and as long as it was the two of them, everything would be fine.
So what did it matter if the guild didn't make him feel welcome? What if no one, even after so many years, believed him about Igneel, what if Lisanna's death had changed so many things, while others had remained the same?
He had to focus on finding his father.
That's why he ended up so far away, risking being crushed by madwomen, after following the faint rumor of a dragon sighting.
That's how he met her.
(Where there's a before and after Lucy, and Fairy Tail hasn't always felt like a home.)
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Demon pup by Speechless_since_1998
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
09 Oct 2024
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“Today is the day,” Luo Binghe thought, as Shen Qingqiu ate bland, mushy congee. “Today I will reveal myself and make him pay. Who does this man think he is for…”
“LuoLuo,” the cultivator said. “Do you want some cuddles?”
Instead of carrying out his purpose and biting Shen Qingqiu's throat until his head was torn off, the demon wagged his tail and trotted close to him, resting his muzzle on the man's knees and letting himself be petted.
“Good puppy,” Shen Qingqiu praised him, going back to eating a congee that Luo Binghe would certainly have cooked a thousand times better.
Now you might ask yourself, what is the great Demonic Emperor doing pretending to be the pet of a random human cultivator?
The answer was simple: it was all Sha Hualing's fault.
(In which due to harem politics, Luo Binghe ends up cursed into the form of a dog, and is sold to the strangest cultivator he has ever had the displeasure of meeting. Shen Qingqiu is just happy to have an adorable hellhound to keep him company.)
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Bring it back by Speechless_since_1998
Fandoms: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga), Yu-Gi-Oh! Series
07 Oct 2024
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“What are you doing here?” Seto asked, mustering all the rudeness he had, which was usually a lot, but at that moment it sounded like a weak attempt even for him.
He couldn't pay attention to her, not while his mind was fixed on that image…that illusion that Bakura had shown in front of him and Not Yugi by mistake.
It wasn't real. It was an illusion, a pseudo magic trick by that bastard. So why didn't he stop thinking about it?“Yami wouldn't tell us what happened before he got his body back,” Tea began to say. “You were with him…”
“Has it occurred to you that there's a good reason why I don't want to say this?”Tea sat next to him, but had the good sense to stay at a safe distance from him so as not to risk touching him even by mistake. She said, “Yes, I thought so. Even Yugi was pretty evasive about it. Usually I would just let it go, because it's none of my business. But I saw you, and you looked like you needed someone to talk to.”
(After a vision that makes him question himself, Seto finds himself talking to the unlikeliest of people. Tea is here to drag a kicking Kaiba to the realization of his feelings whether he likes it or not.)
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You are my sin by Speechless_since_1998
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
01 Oct 2024
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“Shizun has gorgeous eyelashes,” Binghe noted. “And the lips look soft…”
He felt an impulse to do something unworthy of a cultivator: he tried to ignore the instinct, but it was practically impossible with that inviting fruit of sin.
“Just one…I'll be quick,” he thought. “But if he were to wake up…”
His mind couldn't even imagine a scenario in which Shen Qingqiu would wake up. All he could think about were those lips, and how close he was to harvesting the delicious fruit of sin.
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Little menace by Speechless_since_1998
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
26 Sep 2024
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"Don't touch him, weirdo!"
"Weirdo?" Liu Qingge repeated, and it seemed that his soul was about to leave his body. Not so much for the blow, which didn't hurt so much, but because his crush was blatantly rejecting him. That was very painful! Have a little mercy, Cucumber-bro! Liu – shidi is just a big lovesick puppy!
"Yes, you're a weirdo! You made him cry and you're a big meanie! You won't get us anywhere!"
"You are children. What do you plan to do without an adult?"
"If any other adult comes, we will go with him. Not with you two."
(In which Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu become children again, and Liu Qingge is the victim of an eight-year-old boy)
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A little help by Speechless_since_1998
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics), DCU
23 Sep 2024
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Tim @batwatch
Since some have questioned Batman's integrity, here is some photographic evidence of what he does every night for Gotham.
EnjoyMia @girlpowerhellyeah
What the…where did you get these?Tim @batwatch
A wizard never reveals his secrets.Kyle @itwillbeaproblemforfutureme
There's no way a normal human being could do something like that. These photos are edited.Tim @batwatch
I'm not! Check it out, there is no filter or modification! Everything is true!(Tim just wanted people to stop badmouthing Batman. He didn't expect there to be so many idiots on Twitter)
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How early could I have known that I was not right? by Speechless_since_1998
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
16 Sep 2024
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Shen-shidi had bandaged hands.
When he saw that Luo Binghe was staring at him, the other boy quickly smiled at him, "There's nothing to worry about. I've been training too much lately, that's all.”
It was a lie, and Shen-shidi was a terrible liar. They were not wounds due to carelessness during the use of the sword or calluses that had broken.
No, the wounds on his palms were clearly made by a ruler, and he knew full well who had done them.
(In which Shen Yuan is Shen Qingqiu's son and Luo Binghe would burn the world for him.)
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Demon Master is too sexy, help! by Speechless_since_1998
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
11 Sep 2024
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"Are you ok?" the demon asked.
Luo Binghe was tempted to say no, you're torturing me, but his mouth was dry, and he couldn't help but stare.
So much exposed skin! And there might have been more, but his new master (Shen Qingqiu, he repeated the name like a melody, so sweet on his unworthy lips) was an anomaly among demons, possessed of a sense of modesty rarely found among those of his species.
Even so, he was more naked than Luo Binghe was used to, and his heart simply couldn't take it.
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Sugar addiction by Speechless_since_1998
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
08 Sep 2024
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“Your friend doesn't want to join us?” he asked, while Dick froze like a deer caught in the headlights.
"Friend? What friend?” the kid asked him, feigning ignorance, without any hesitation. He was learning Master Bruce's lessons well.
Alfred raised an eyebrow, “Well, if you don't have a friend visiting, why are there two bowls of ice cream on the table?”
Dick widened his eyes, probably calling himself stupid for such forgetfulness. It wasn't his fault, after all he was only ten and likely ADHD.
Alfred waited patiently for the answer. Which came with a nervous laugh, “Oh, well, you know. I've got a sugar addiction.”
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Mission: seducing Superman by Speechless_since_1998
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, The Batman (Movie 2022), Superman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), DCU, DCU (Comics)
03 Sep 2024
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"Let me get this straight…you, mister, I don't look anyone in the face and if you talk to me for more than five minutes I'll start crying, you want….I can't believe I'm about to say it…learn how to seduce a man."
"Exactly," Bruce replied, as he petted one of Selina's cats.
" Why?"
"Who cares?" Harley broke in.
"He finally wants to step outside his boundaries! You have my respect!"
"It's not about going outside my boundaries. It's about planetary security."
"Really?" Selina said, half joking.
"Superman is powerful enough to destroy the planet. I have to find how to stop him."
This knocked Harley over, and Pamela finally stopped pretending not to pay attention.
Selina didn't know whether to laugh hysterically or slap him on the head.
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Bite by Speechless_since_1998
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
28 Aug 2024
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“Come on, Shizun…bite me…”
Luo Binghe had raised his sleeve to his elbow, showing his inviting arm in front of the muzzle of the enormous white wolf.
The wolf, instead of attacking him as any beast would have done in his place, looked at him for a long time, then licked him.
As if he were a puppy.
“No, Shizun…you have to bite. Understood? Bite, don't lick..."
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Did you miss it? by Speechless_since_1998
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
22 Aug 2024
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“Do you miss it?”
Shen Qingqiu raised his head from the book he was reading – a gift from Shang Qinghua complete with a letter nearby, for old times' sake. – And he looked questioningly at his husband.
Luo Binghe sat in front of him, expression uncertain. He repeated, “Your home world. Do you miss it?”