1 - 20 of 21 Works by Sadlydownbad

Navigation

Listing Works

  1. Tags
    Summary

    For starters, I'm projecting.

    “Then let's finish this.” Beck smiled, throwing a thumbs up at the director, who called to start the scene again. “Just remember that this isn’t real. If you can get through this scene, it just shows how mature you are for your age.”

    He’s always admired Beck; if being mature meant he could impress him, he would do anything to prove him right.

    Peter experiences CSA at the hands of Quentin Beck during the filming of Lolita.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,245
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    47
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1,190
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Title is a reference to the song by carpetgarden and a play on the title “what it feels like to be a ghost”

    Slowly, he stopped taking his meds consistently, not wanting to mix his “treats” with prescription medication. So he’d plan it, take a bump then his meds the next day. It wasn’t a big deal, he functioned fine, could stop at any time, and wasn’t manic. He was perfectly fine.
    Eventually, those bumps became more frequent, causing him to forget about his medication and throw him off pattern, sometimes taking them again felt like starting over.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,511
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    290
  3. Tags
    Summary

    “No way partner, I can’t just let Carl's daddy go out alone and risk the chance of you not comin’ home to us, give me a minute.” Shane laughed, jogging out of view back to the RV.

    Us or you? Hell, this isn’t a home. We’re stuck here until we figure something out.

    Rick inhaled, ashamed of his own mind. They were lucky, not stuck. Plus, this was as good enough of a home as they could get. Shane was treating them well. It’s fine.

    Or

    My retelling of what actually happened between Rick and Shane. Basically, he’s a fucking psychopath.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,295
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    122
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    2,389
  4. Tags
    Summary

    With a quick nod and smile Peter left, quickly closing the door behind him and stopping at the mirror.
    Sure, he didn’t look bad but…he didn’t look good either.
    His body was filled out. His skin rounded and his stomach poked out a little. How did he let this happen? He didn’t look like this- he was thin. He looks wrong- disgusting.
    Peter looked down at his wrist, attempting to wrap his hand fully around it but failing.
    He can’t do it anymore. Back then he could do it with ease, even able to wrap two fingers around.

    Or

    Peter has an ED and it’s spirals.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,285
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    379
    Bookmarks:
    45
    Hits:
    6,152
  5. Tags
    Summary

    He didn’t mean to, he was just so tired. It was irritating. Couldn’t he see his sleep deprivation?

    “Then maybe you should be doing this yourself since you obviously don’t need my help.” He bitterly replied, crossing his arms as he glared at Tony. “After all, you’re the one who made it.”
    .
    .
    .
    Basically, Peters been keeping his feelings to himself before he eventually has a melt down, resulting in the comforting of his fellow father.
    (Very self indulgent)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,991
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    181
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    2,246
  6. Tags
    Summary

    He knew it was obvious. After all, you don’t just accept an offer only to stop and act like it never happened. The thoughts of talking about what happened- of exposing himself like this…it was terrifying. Sure, he’d shown them his vulnerable side more than once but this was a whole other level, this was trauma. A sad, filthy story. He was filthy.
    “I- something…when I was a kid-.” He trailed off. He could feel his stomach churning, his breathing struggling. “When I was a kid something happened.”

    Or

    Eddie and Dustin have a heart to heart about trauma

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,272
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    98
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1,222
  7. Tags
    Summary

    “I’m ok with it. I’m ok with her moving on and it’s almost sickening. Hell, I even want her to move on. I want her to forget about me- to be happy and just finally let go. I just- It’s scary. It’s almost fucking scary that I want that. I ruined her life, Frank.”

    “Jesus, David. No-.”

    “Yes! I did! She told me not to send in that tape! She practically begged me not to. She knew the dangers and I still did it. Even before the tape- even before my death…we were already falling apart. I wasn’t around enough and- and she just loved so hard. She loved too much.” He smiled, feeling as the tightening in his chest and throat threatened to worsen. Feeling as his eyes watered and his voice wobbled. “I’m relieved, Frank. I’m relieved she’s done with me. I’m so tired of feeling guilty, of feeling selfish. I’m just happy it’s finally done…does that make me a bad person? Am I a bad person, Frank?”

    Basically, David sees the kiss and realizes that he’s also moving on. He also realizes he has a thing for Frank, who is oblivious and kind of an dick.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,760
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    82
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1,263
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Dustin rolled his eyes as he leaned his head closer to the headphones. “Obviously it’s cheesy but you literally took me to the arcade for our first date talking about ‘where I first fell in love.’”

    “Oh shush.” Lucas laughed, reaching down to hold the other boy's hand. “You never told me when you first realized you liked me…can you tell me?”

    “It’s so embarrassing though.”

    “I literally told you it was the arcade, it can’t get worse than that.”

    “…fine. You remember the snowball?” Dustin replied, rolling over so he could entirely face Lucas.

     

    Basically Lucas and Dustin hang out at the junk yard without telling anyone and steve and Eddie look for them because steve is worried

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,697
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    224
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    2,032
  9. Tags
    Summary

    “Do you ever feel like…tired?”

    “I think everyone does, Dustin.” Lucas tilted his head slightly.

    “Obviously, dude…but do you ever feel mentally tired? Like just so exhausted that it hurts.”

    Or

    Things from the last are adding up and dust vents to Lucas.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,792
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    142
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1,409
  10. Tags
    Summary

    It was stupid, honestly.
    Why was he even making such a big deal over it?
    He’s been good. He’s been happy. Everyone is ok.
    …so why is he upset? It wasn’t his business, it wasn’t even his place to judge.
    Dustin frowned trying to shake the thoughts away as he smiled with his friends. Everyone was safe, everything turned out ok. He honestly was thankful for that.
    It’s just…things changed. He wasn’t jealous or angry…he just felt, lonely.

    Or

    Steve and Eddie dating and not spending time with Dustin is what finally flips the iceberg of his sadness lol.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,418
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    43
    Kudos:
    207
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    5,346
  11. Tags
    Summary

    This story is all too much. All too familiar. He didn't like it.
    It was like this itch in the back of his brain, something was there- it was trying to escape.
    Don’t you remember?
    You need to.

    “Steve. Stop the movie, please. I- I don't want to watch this.”

     

    Or the brotherly trio watches the movie Lolita and Dustin remembers something he tried to ignore lol.
    Also it’s the late 90’s and everyone’s the same age and all that stuff.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,605
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    196
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    4,072
  12. Tags
    Summary

    “He’d never like you like that? That doesn’t seem like something friends wonder about. Plus, you don’t have to be gay to like a boy.” She replied, keeping her voice low as she scanned the room to make sure no one could hear them.

    “Just think about it, dummy. Reach out when you’re ready to talk.”

    He definitely had a lot to think about.

    Or

    Dustin has a huge crush on Lucas and Robin becomes his wingman and mentor while Steve is a oblivious idiot.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,062
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    148
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    2,046
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Steve had been in the waiting room with everyone for hours. No one informed them about how he was doing or if he was ok.
    The envelopes, he left them envelopes.
    Steve reached into his pocket and pulled out a bundle of letters, passing them to everyone based on name.

    Lucas was the first one to ask, he held the envelope as he sat near Max, who opened her letter immediately.

    “A suicide note.” She softly spoke, reading over it.

    Steve opened his, finally reading it.

    Or Dustin hasn’t gotten over Eddie and attempts suicide

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,492
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    157
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    4,109
  14. Tags
    Summary

    “I need to get Steve home safe.” Eddie smiled as he approached the window one final time, “I love you kid. Tell steve I love him too.”

    “No! Eddie wait! You have to tell him! Please! Don't go!”

    Dustin watched as Eddie walked away, nothing but a trashcan lid and knife in hand. He curled himself up on the floor of the trailer, crying. He couldn't stop Eddie, he was helpless. He shouldn't have gone, Dustin would've helped. He wanted to help. He couldn't lose him, not yet. He still needed to walk up on that stage, give the bird and run the hell out of there. He needed to make it.

     

    Spoiler warning

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,847
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    188
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    2,873
  15. Tags
    Summary

    “…yeah. The idea of being hurt like that- hurt in general feels like love. It feels like they truly want me. Like I’m the only one they know they can keep. I- I really like it. It makes me feel loved. In a sick and twisted way, it’s almost romantic. I can truly be theirs. And I know I’d never leave them…because no one would ever treat me like that again. No one would love me like that again.”

    “Are you scared of being alone?”

    “Yes.”

    “…are you scared to be happy, Dustin?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,359
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    92
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    2,150
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Steve knew what that smell was. He used to be around it all the time, even smell like it. It was alcohol.

    “Dustin, have you been drinking?”

    He stopped, set his cup down and faced him. He was doing good hiding it, he even had full control over his words. Sure he slurred a few but everyone does that sometimes. He’s been well behaved, how can he even know?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,133
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    221
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    4,500
  17. Tags
    Summary

    It's been so long since they had all cried, especially the older two…yet this hurt, it hurt so badly. If only he could see his true worth. He deserves to be happy, to exist carefree.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,168
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    119
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    2,942
  18. Tags
    Summary

    “Does it get easier? The constant fear that this isn’t done? The static, the nightmares, the fucking lights? The way I never feel safe? Will it get better? How do you do it? I’m- I'm so fucking scared all the time. I’m so fucking worried that it’ll happen again, see the way Chrissy- the way people's bodies-“ he questioned, his dark eyes begging Steve for an answer, a solution, anything positive.

    Steve swallows roughly. It doesn’t, you live with it. Can you Eddie? Can you survive? He immediately regrets the thought, because it quickly deepens into something that twists in his gut and feels heavy in his chest.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,402
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    176
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    4,034
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Quick dumb thing

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    446
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    53
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Abner finds himself with a beautiful lady, maybe, finally he can live out his fantasies. Thats what shes here for, right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,496
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    854

Filters

Filter results:
Submit

Include

?
Include Ratings
Include Warnings
Include Categories
Include Fandoms
Include Characters
Include Relationships
Include Additional Tags

Exclude

?
Exclude Ratings
Exclude Warnings
Exclude Categories
Exclude Fandoms
Exclude Characters
Exclude Relationships
Exclude Additional Tags

More Options

Crossovers
Completion Status
Word Count
Date Updated
Submit

Clear Filters

Navigation