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Phil slowly kicked a path clear to the sofa, shedding his coat and bags and keys along the way. His shopping list was lying around somewhere. He had to get it pinned down sooner or later, else he’d never get this place sorted out. It was already embarrassing enough that he’d broken three leases in as many years; he was not going to live in an unfurnished shithole for the remainder of his contract.
Sofa, then kitchen, then bed. Said like that, it was as though Phil wasn’t looking at hours of thankless, mindless labor that capitalized on his few good days of the week. He groaned as he sank into the couch cushions.
There was a beat of silence. The faucet, which he had yet to call the landlord about, dripped obtrusively into the sink.
“Honey, I’m home,” said Phil.
“Bruh, you were gone for six hours. Were you 3-D printin’ your own clotheshangers at the library?” said his friend, and Phil grinned hugely at the ceiling.
Phil is dreaming of something more.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,123
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 9
- Kudos:
- 69
- Bookmarks:
- 12
- Hits:
- 310
Bookmarked by Teahound
17 Jan 2026
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Summary
The Narrator cleared their throat, “Now, forgive me for being so blunt, Stanley, but trust me when I say that you look like absolute shit.”
They had to be exaggerating. He was fine! He felt fine!
To prove it, Stanley went to take another step forward to the room with two doors, but he felt a splitting pain in his temple as–
“Stanley? STANLEY, ARE YOU ALRI–?”
His vision went black.
…Whoops?
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in which Stanley and The Narrator discover that sleep is, in fact, a necessary biological process.
Series
- Part 2 of set your words in stone (then break it)
Bookmarked by Teahound
02 Jan 2026
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Summary
Hi Team,
Can I please remind all GlobeSearch employees that printer use must be signed off by our IT Manager Henry Shepherd.
This is due to the sentience of the printers in the London office building, who must be warned about all potential printing jobs in advance.
Many thanks,
Alice
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Xenoethnography by Therrae (Dasha_mte)
Fandom The Transformers (Cartoon Generation One), Transformers (Bay Movies), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Animated (2007), Transformers Bumblebee, Transformers Generation One, Transformers: Prime, Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2015)
19 Jun 2022
- Words:
- 408,701
- Works:
- 8
- Bookmarks:
- 859
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amid the rubble by thanotaphobia (blue000jay) for CorpseArt
Fandoms: Dream SMP, Video Blogging RPF
10 Jun 2022
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Summary
“‘M here,” Tommy mutters, and maybe he imagined the sigh of relief that came from the villain. “Tired.”
“Yeah, uh.” Blade falters. “Can’t be tired, kid. Gotta stay awake. It’s a rule. If you don’t stay awake I’ll–”
“Duct tape me to a wall?” Tommy rasps. Silence rings between them for a moment, and then the Blade laughs.
(or, Tommy gets trapped under a collapsed building with the notorious supervillain Blade.)
Series
- Part 28 of drabbles
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Summary
Honestly, there are worse people to share a 500 square foot apartment with than a vampire, if you ask Philza, who is unbiased in every way.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,662
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 19
- Kudos:
- 125
- Bookmarks:
- 21
- Hits:
- 516
Bookmarked by Teahound
31 Dec 2022
Bookmarker's Notes
My dearly beloved. I am a moth and this fic contains lightbulbs.
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Summary
When Wilbur disappears from the darkened streets of their sleepy seaside college town, Tommy makes it his mission to find his best friend. There's just one problem—it looks like Wilbur's been Taken by the fey, and neither the town nor the Fair Folk take kindly to any kind of searching.
Things start to go wrong very quickly, starting, among other things, with a body beneath the belltower.
(or, faeries have rules, but tommy's never been one to follow them, is the thing.)
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post mortem (in chess): the analyzing of a game by player(s) or spectator(s) after it has concluded to improve understanding and technique for future games.
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Tubbo has nightmares. This is no secret, and no surprise: children made to be soldiers and strategists and spies will have nightmares. It is the way of things.
These dreams are haunting, all-consuming, and from them he wakes with a heart pounding like a drum, fear rippling throughout his entire being. They are memories, dragged up from the depths to torment him every night, and for a long while, Tubbo would forgo sleep altogether to avoid them.
On some nights, though?
On some nights, Tubbo’s nightmares give way to something far, far worse.
On some nights, there is Dream.
Series
- Part 1 of the promotion of caïssa
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sheltered in darkness, cold earth around us by Beans_McGee
Fandoms: SMPEarth, Dream SMP, Philza Hardcore S4
06 Nov 2022
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Summary
"Philza," Technoblade says, eyes screwed shut. "Can you tell me a story?"
It's a story he makes up as he goes along, and it's not very good; he's better at visualizing things, is Philza Minecraft. But he makes do.
(Philza and Technoblade fight in the same pointless war, a long time before anything else. Here are the parts that mattered. Here are the parts that are remembered. Here are the parts that are important.)
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forge the iron in your veins by afearsomecritter (jsaer)
Fandoms: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, Star Wars - All Media Types
17 Jul 2021
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Summary
The Jedi are warships, and the clones were made for them.
{excerpt from The Galaxy’s Deadliest Ghosts: Defunct Weapons of the High Republic Era, pp 66-78}
The AI of Jedi class warships were optimized for combat, with an array of sensors and pattern recognition to rival any sentient. Uplinks to their crew on the ground [...] make Jedi AI incredibly effective [...] with the soldier complement [...] serving as another part of the grand machine of the warships. [They] were named after an ancient order of monks who believed in an all powerful force appropriately called “the Force” [...] The order died out not long before the creation of the warships[...]
Only some of this is a lie.
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Summary
“I was thinking about that time you hated me.”
“Why?”
"I don’t know."
“I didn’t.”
“I know.”or
three years after hawkmoth's defeat, marinette is still trying to figure out her version of normal. there's also sleepovers.
Series
- Part 1 of the life cycle of the butterfly
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 97,964
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 1,993
- Kudos:
- 3,982
- Bookmarks:
- 813
- Hits:
- 108,882
Bookmarked by Teahound
18 Aug 2022
Bookmarker's Notes
This dragged me back into ML kicking and screaming. You should totally read it.
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Summary
The power fluctuated, lights going out. Phil was lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling, but his eyes might as well have been closed. The darkness was so complete it was like it clasped its fingers in his, breathed through his throat-- and then, slowly, he became aware of a shift on the other side of the glass. Faint, distant movement. A soft pulse of light, pinkish-red mingled with off-white, gentle bioluminescent flickers in the engulfing blackness. Fear twisted so far around that it turned to wonder.
He thought the lights were multiple creatures close together, at first. Then the emergency lights hummed back on, and the lights on the other side suddenly resolved into a being, a huge one with a long snaking tail and brightness down its side and shoulders and flowing hair and was that a goddamn fucking mer--
The mer reeled back and disappeared into the gloom. Phil stared after it and said blankly, forgetting it was only a plush crow listening: "What the actual fuck."
Series
- Part 34 of dream smp fic my beloved
- Part 8 of dsmp/smpearth sampler [personal favorites]
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,240
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 115
- Kudos:
- 509
- Bookmarks:
- 144
- Hits:
- 3,978
Bookmarked by Teahound
23 Jun 2022
Bookmarker's Notes
Wow. Waffles if you see this, it’s a sign you should read this fic.
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The Thing With Feathers by orphan_account
Fandoms: Dream SMP (Fandom), Minecraft (Video Game)
12 Sep 2021
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Summary
The bite is different for everyone.
For some, the virus overtakes the body in minutes, violent convulsions the only warning before they turn their teeth on whoever is left. For others it takes as long as three days-- three long, miserable days of suffering, fever, and rot. In the end, the time between the bite and the turn means nothing but how long they suffer before their body shudders its final breath, then sits back up to spread the horror anew.
It does not linger past three days.
Tommy has lasted a week.
or
When hope is the last god to pray to, it will answer how it can.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,383
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 16
- Comments:
- 68
- Kudos:
- 1,816
- Bookmarks:
- 381
- Hits:
- 12,257
Bookmarked by Teahound
24 Apr 2022
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Summary
The story does not truly start here.
No fairytales ever do– no, stories like these often begin in simpler places. Simpler stories, ones that belong to the people and not the kings. Stories that are told around campfires, told around the butter churn and whispered around hearths. Stories told to children as they’re tucked into bed, gentle warm hands soothing their brows and speaking with low tones as they relay the stories of grandeur and magic. Fairytales are often piled upon– one magic spell becomes two. A mother changes the prince’s name to her own dear son. Tommy was once told stories like these.
(or, the high-fantasy royalty AU starring Tommyinnit as one child king, the Empire as his opponent, and so many politics.)
Series
- Part 1 of cataclysm
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tail as old as time by thanotaphobia (blue000jay)
Fandoms: Dream SMP, Video Blogging RPF
07 May 2021
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Summary
Ranboo is not lonely, he tells himself as he works a summer job on the coastline. He's not lonely, he says as he crashes into two of the oddest people he's ever met.
He's not.
(or, Ranboo finds family in the most unexpected place. Mermay is abound.)
Series
- Part 8 of drabbles
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Summary
“Well,” Phil says, letting go of the blond’s mouth and wiping his hand on his pants with a grimace. “There’s my unethical deed of the day.”
“You committed tax fraud this morning.”
“I did no such thing.”
(or, the ethically dubious vigilante!tommy fic, where SBI are crimelords and Tommy just wants his best friend back, man.)
Series
- Part 7 of drabbles
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Summary
In which Mumbo crosses several towns, learns some creative methods of self-defense, fights some monsters, sees things no human is meant to have seen, befriends a stranger, steals multiple cars, has inconvenient moral scruples, grows increasingly terrified of his own culpability in the apocalypse, grows a spine, blows up at least one building, accidentally prevents a murder, and attempts to find his best friend in the futile but ever-burning hope the man’s still alive.
He has to say, he’s so exhausted and terrified that he thinks he might just be mad?
(OR: the one where, after most of humanity turns into a series of terrifying monsters, Mumbo decides he’s going to risk his life on an apocalypse road trip to try to find out if Grian is alive. Things, as you might imagine, devolve from there.)
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nothing gold can stay by thanotaphobia (blue000jay)
Fandoms: Dream SMP, Video Blogging RPF
02 Jan 2022
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Summary
There is a dragon at the top of the hill.
There's also Wilbur, but, well- that's a different story.
(or, crimebois in a fantasy world of my own design. Dragons!)
Series
- Part 20 of drabbles
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ashen knuckles, burning eyes by soul_speed
Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
31 Dec 2020
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Summary
As he works, the Nether chitters and burbles around him, achingly familiar. Lava crackles far below, sloshing against crimson shores in waves of fiery orange. Striders skitter across its surface, and far off, a ghast wails its melancholy cry. He lets his own voice join the soundscape, humming the notes of the only song he knows.
With a sigh, he settles in. His back meets the wall of blue-threaded netherrack behind him, and the warmth soaks through his clothes and into his skin. Honestly, as much as he grumbles about the heat, it doesn’t bother him much anymore. Little about the Nether does. As treacherous and bloodthirsty as it is, it’s all he’s ever known.
It’s home.
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In which Tommy tries to make soup, attempts to rob a celebrity, accepts a bribe, entirely upends his own life, and gets sort-of-maybe kidnapped. Well, no one ever said growing up in the Nether was boring.Bookmarked by Teahound
11 Nov 2021
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- Words:
- 27,131
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 57
Bookmarked by Teahound
02 Oct 2021
Bookmarker's Notes
One of my favorite AUs. The characterizations are perfect, humor and heart beautifully balanced. It’s a hilarious story with a very relatable awkward technoblade.