koomaqu
Fandoms
Recent works
-
In the Light of the Full Moon, We’re All Monsters by koomaqu, LadyJekyll
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF
16 Aug 2025
Tags
- No Archive Warnings Apply
- Greg Davies/Alex Horne
- Greg Davies/Rhod Gilbert/Alex Horne
- Rhod Gilbert/Alex Horne
- Greg Davies/Rhod Gilbert
- Rhod Gilbert
- Greg Davies
- Alex Horne (British Comedy RPF)
- Fern Brady
- Alternate Universe
- Vampires
- Werewolves
- Fantasy
- Alternate Universe - Fantasy
- Developing Relationship
- Suicidal Ideation
- Depression
- Trauma
- Angst
- Smut
- Pining
- Longing
- Falling In Love
- Kissing
- Biting
- Flirting
- Holding Hands
- Masturbation
- Orgasm
- Marking
- Rutting
- noncon
- Somnophilia
- dubcon
- wet dreams
- sexual fantasies
- conflicted feelings
- undercommunication
- Awkward Flirting
- Slow Burn
- Dating
- Bloodlust
- Blood
- blood sucking
- Frottage
- Insomnia
- Anal Fingering
- anal penetration
- Anal Sex
- Unprotected Sex
- Begging
- Heartbreak
- Love Confessions
- Poly
- Poly Relationship
- Healing
- Happy Ending
- RPF
- Cuddling
- Threesome
- Sex
- Lube
- Dirty Talk
- spit
- Hair Pulling
- Oral Sex
- Rough Sex
- Pet Names
- Praise Kink
- Come Swallowing
- Aftercare
- Idiots in Love
- Coming Untouched
- Overstimulation
- Domestic smut
Summary
A lonely Alex thinks about ending it all when he's interrupted by a tall, dark, and handsome figure. Little does he know that a vampire and a werewolf will soon be vying for his attention and his love. But what happens when one of them takes it too far?
Series
- Part 370 of TM
-
Tags
- No Archive Warnings Apply
- Greg Davies/Alex Horne
- Rhod Gilbert/Alex Horne
- Greg Davies/Rhod Gilbert
- Greg Davies/Rhod Gilbert/Alex Horne
- Greg Davies
- Alex Horne (British Comedy RPF)
- Rhod Gilbert
- Polyamory
- Threesome - M/M/M
- Threesome
- Consensual Somnophilia
- Sleepy Sex
- Morning Sex
- Oral Sex
- Come Eating
- Come Swallowing
- Come Sharing
- Hand Jobs
- Butt Plugs
- Anal Sex
- Anal Plug
Summary
Floating on the brink of dreams and reality, Alex lets himself give into sweet pleasure in the arms of Greg and Rhod.
-
Tags
- No Archive Warnings Apply
- Greg Davies/Alex Horne
- Rhod Gilbert/Alex Horne
- Greg Davies/Rhod Gilbert
- Greg Davies/Rhod Gilbert/Alex Horne
- Minor or Background Relationship(s)
- Greg Davies
- Alex Horne (British Comedy RPF)
- Rhod Gilbert
- Domestic
- Polyamory
- Misunderstandings
- Matchmaking
- Making Up
- Kissing
- Getting Together
- Fluff
- Friends to Lovers
Summary
“Would you kiss?”
Alex didn’t anticipate that asking his partners that simple question would cause such a disaster.
-
Tags
- No Archive Warnings Apply
- Greg Davies/Alex Horne
- Greg Davies
- Alex Horne (British Comedy RPF)
- Domestic
- Domestic Fluff
- Sleepiness
- Dry Humping
- Vignette
- Non-Sexual Intimacy
- Intimacy
- Fluff
- Hugs
- Morning Kisses
- Neck Kissing
Summary
Alex and Greg enjoy a sleepy morning
-
Tags
- No Archive Warnings Apply
- Rhod Gilbert/Alex Horne
- Greg Davies/Alex Horne
- Greg Davies/Rhod Gilbert
- Greg Davies/Rhod Gilbert/Alex Horne
- Rhod Gilbert
- Alex Horne (British Comedy RPF)
- Greg Davies
- Dom/sub
- Service Kink
- Service Submission
- Polyamory
- Kneeling
- Blow Jobs
- Deepthroating
- Sweat
- Marking
- Love Bites
- Possessive Behavior
- Ownership
- Erections
- Power Imbalance
- Power Dynamics
- Power Exchange
- Aftercare
- Dry Humping
- Walking In On Someone
- Exhibitionism
- Smut
- Making Out
- Kissing
Summary
In the midst of summer heat, Rhod and Greg spend time together while Alex hurries around to serve them. In a game of escalation, the day only seems to grow hotter with Greg's every new order...
Recent series
-
TM by Illuminescence, koomaqu, LadyJekyll
Fandom Get Smart - All Media Types, Never Mind the Buzzcocks RPF, Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster (Podcast), Taskmaster (Australia TV) RPF, Taskmaster (New Zealand TV) RPF, Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, The Horne Section Television Programme RPF, The Horne Section TV Show (TV)
- Explicit, General Audiences, Mature, Teen And Up Audiences, Not Rated
- No Archive Warnings Apply, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
- M/M, Multi, F/M, F/F
- Series in Progress
06 Mar 2026
- No Archive Warnings Apply
- Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
- Major Character Death
- Graphic Depictions Of Violence
- Greg Davies/Alex Horne
- Greg Davies/Nick Mohammed
- Rhod Gilbert/Alex Horne
- Tom Cashman/Greg Davies/Alex Horne/Paul Williams
- Greg Davies/Tom Cashman
- Greg Davies/Paul Williams
- Rhod Gilbert/Qrs Tuvwxyz
- Alex Horne/Qrs Tuvwxyz
- Greg Davies/Qrs Tuvwxyz
- Alex/Clones
- Greg/Clones
- Qrs/Clones
- Greg Davies/Alex Horne/Rachel Horne
- Greg Davies/Alex Horne/Nick Mohammed
- Jeremy Wells/Paul Williams
- Tom Gleeson/Tom Cashman
- Rose Matafeo/Mike Wozniak
- Greg Davies/Rhod Gilbert
- Tom Cashman/Paul Williams
- Nick Mohammed/Alex Horne
- Dara O'Brien/Alex Horne
- Jack Dee/Alex Horne
- Tom Cashman/Paul Williams/Tom Gleeson
- Tom Cashman/Rhys Nicholson
- Paul Williams/Tom Cashman
- Jeremy Wells/Tom Cashman
- Greg Davies/Jack Dee/Alex Horne
- Greg Davies/Jack Dee
- Alex Horne/John Robins
- Greg Davies/Jeremy Wells
- background Greg/Alex - Relationship
- Will Collier/Ed Sheldrake
- Alex Horne/Sally Phillips
- Alex Horne/Ed Sheldrake/Will Collier/Joe Auckland/Ben Reynolds/Mark Brown/Greg Davies
- Emma Sidi/Rosie Jones
- Andy Zaltsman/Jack Dee
- Alex Horne/Rachel Horne
- Greg Davies/Rhod Gilbert/Alex Horne
- Alex Horne/Ben Reynolds (British Comedy RPF)
- Joe Auckland/Mark Brown
- Joe Auckland/Mark Brown/Will Collier/Greg Davies/Alex Horne/Ben Reynolds/Ed Sheldrake
- Susan Wokoma/Alex Horne
- Mark Brown/Will Collier
- Henry Hoover/Henry Mancini
- Will Collier/Joe Auckland
- Tom Cashman/Tommy Little
- Jason Mantzoukas/Mathew Baynton
- Clone/Clone - Relationship
- Alex Horne/clone
- Greg Davies/clone
- James Acaster/Ed Gamble
- Greg Davies/Jason Mantzoukas
- Greg Davies
- Alex Horne (British Comedy RPF)
- Qrs Tuvwxyz
- Tim Key
- Rhod Gilbert
- Mark Watson
- James Acaster
- Ardal O'Hanlon
- Jenny Eclair
- Mae Martin (Comedian)
- Ed Gamble
- Nish Kumar
- Jamali Maddix
- Julian Clary
- Judi Love
- Sally Phillips
- Mike Wozniak
- Rachel Horne
- Loky | Alex Horne's Dog (British Comedy RPF)
- patatas
- Guz Khan
- Nick Mohammed (Actor)
- Paul Williams
- Tom Cashman
- Paul Williams (Comedian)
- Alex clones
- Jeremy Wells
- Guy Williams (Comedian)
- Rose Matafeo
- Tom Gleeson
- Alex Horne
- Hayley Sproull
- Tom Sainsbury
- Abby Howells
- Susan Wokoma
- Fern Brady
- Sam Campbell (Australian Comedians RPF)
- Liza Tarbuck
- Bob Mortimer
- Jack Dee
- Dara O'Brien
- Angella Dravid
- Bubbah Olo
- Melanie Bracewell
- Laura Daniel
- Madeleine Sami
- Urzila Carlson
- Justine Smith
- Kura Forrester
- Brynley Stent
- Karen O'Leary
- Rhys Nicholson
- John Robins
- Andy Devonshire
- Rob Beckett
- Romesh Ranganathan
- Rosie Jones
- Emma Sidi
- Babatunde Aléshé
- Patatas the Cat (Taskmaster)
- Will Collier
- Ed Sheldrake
- Mark Brown (The Horne Section)
- Ben Reynolds (British Comedy RPF)
- Joe Auckland
- Rosie Jones (British Comedy RPF)
- Andy Zaltsman
- Patrick Jack (Designer)
- Frank Skinner
- Mark Brown
- Ben Reynolds
- Aisling Bea
- Andy Cartwright
- Sue Perkins
- Lucy Beaumont
- Matt Heath
- Morgana Robinson
- Victoria Coren Mitchell
- Fred the Swede
- Joe Stilgoe
- Andy Zaltzman
- Henry Hoover - Character
- Henry Mancini
- Katy Wix
- Tommy Little
- Fathia El-Ghorri
- Stevie Martin
- Mat Baynton
- Jason Mantzoukas
- Rosie Ramsey
- Mathew Baynton
- Tommy Little (Comedian)
- Fatiha El-Ghorri
- Stevie Martin (UK Comedian)
- Kiell Smith-Bynoe
- Josh Widdicombe
- Richard Osman
- Mel Giedroyc
- Jessica Knappett
- Kerry Godliman
- Phil Wang
- Desiree Burch
- Sophie Duker
- Dara Ó Briain
- Ivo Graham
- Takashi Wakasugi
- Concetta Caristo
- Sarah Kendall
- Sanjeev Bhaskar
- Phil Ellis
- Reece Shearsmith
- Ania Magliano
- RPF
- Pining
- Fluff
- First Kiss
- Mutual Masturbation
- Hand Jobs
- Orgasm
- Simultaneous Orgasm
- Frottage
- Food Kink
- Established Relationship
- Blow Jobs
- Choking
- S16E10 spoilers
- Hurt/Comfort
- Aftercare
- Alex got bonked on the head
- spoilers he's fine
- name kink
- Kind Of
- Rain
- Cuddling & Snuggling
- Tour Bus
- dom!Greg
- sub!Alex
- Subdrop
- Worship
- Smut
- Kissing
- Anal Sex
- Masturbation
- Semi-Public Sex
- Post-Coital Cuddling
- Meta
- Metafiction
- Episode: s16e10 Always Forks and Marbles.
- taskhusbands
- Discord - Freeform
- Breaking the Fourth Wall
- Characters React to Fandom
- Fandom Allusions & Cliches & References
- ao3 - Freeform
- btw works in this series are unrelated
- Butt Plugs
- Animal Tail
- Furry
- Voyeurism
- Light BDSM
- Spanking
- Biting
- Episode: s12e10 Caring Uncle Minpict
- Costumes
- pumpkin seeds
- Sex Pollen
- Halloween
- First Time
- Multiple Orgasms
- top!Alex
- Dom!Alex
- Sub!Greg
- BDSM
- Humiliation
- Kink Exploration
- BDSM Scene
- pre-negotiated scene
- Painslut
- Painplay
- Blood
- Needles
- Body wax
- Caning
- Dildos
- Exhibitionism
- Praise Kink
- Sadism
- Masochism
- anal penetration
- Crying
- Torture
- Ishidaki Board
- Cuddling
- Alex Horne Please Don't Read This (British Comedy RPF)
- Sensory Deprivation
- Making Out
- Flirting
- Backstage
- Phantom of the Opera - Freeform
- Public Display of Affection
- Drunken Flirting
- Alternate Universe - Fantasy
- that's it that's the tags
- Dragons
- Human Sacrifice
- nod to nmj
- brief mention of characters such as
- tim key - Freeform
- mark watson - Freeform
- james acaster - Freeform
- ardal o'hanlon - Freeform
- rhod gilbert - Freeform
- Bed & Breakfast
- Dungeons & Dragons References
- Fucking Machines
- Overstimulation
- Subspace
- Phone Sex
- Anal Play
- Master/Pet
- Puppy Play
- Dog Bed
- Collars
- Leashes
- dog tail butt plug
- Dry Humping
- Double Anal Penetration
- taskmaster/assistant
- In-Universe RPF
- sexual needs
- Grammar Kink
- Negotiations
- Foreplay
- Alternate Universe
- Inspired by Hades and Persephone (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore)
- Alternate Universe - Ancient Greek Religion & Lore Fusion
- References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore
- Slow Burn
- Stockholm Syndrome
- Nudity
- Showering Together
- Erections
- Romance
- Marriage Proposal
- Compromise
- Valentine's Day
- Valentine's Day Fluff
- Chocolate
- Hand Feeding
- Feeding Kink
- Line dancing au
- First Meetings
- Music
- Puns & Word Play
- In Public
- hair plucking
- Pube plucking
- Plucking meditation
- self shame
- Guilty Pleasures
- Blindfolds
- sensory play
- Service Top
- indulgence
- Cleanliness
- Tweezers
- Enjoying the feeling
- Greg doesn’t get off this is just for Alex
- Dark Room
- Marshmallow men
- soft pain play
- Hugs from Behind
- Dress Up
- Suits
- Fancy Dress
- Rocky Horror Show Performance
- Rocky Horror Picture Show References
- Alex is Frank-N-Furter
- Mark gets a glow-up
- Greg is a supportive boyfriend
- High Heels
- Fishnets
- Episode: Champion of Champions II (Taskmaster)
- CoC2 spoilers
- Milk
- Chocolate Milk
- Kink Negotiation
- horne section reference
- full fat legend reference
- Video Cameras
- Silk Sheets
- Nightmare AU
- Nightmare!Greg
- LAH!Alex
- midnight snack
- (glass of milk)
- quickie in the night
- Kitchen Sex
- Tentacles
- Lovecraftian Monster(s)
- Monsterfucking
- Triple Penetration
- Kitchen Counter Sex
- Sounding
- Breathplay
- Mile High Club
- Airplane Sex
- Falling asleep on his shoulder
- Dark Alleyway
- getting turned on
- Animalistic
- Teeth
- New York City
- Quickies
- Sex Worker AU
- Sex Work
- like really slow burn
- Fantasizing
- Panic Attacks
- Pep talks
- Sexy Dancing
- Strip Games
- Angst with a Happy Ending
- Shower Sex
- Anal Fingering
- Wet Dream
- Love Confessions
- Happy Ending
- Lab Sex
- Come Swallowing
- Pearl Necklace
- light biting
- Virtual Sex
- Covid Times
- horny Greg is horny and needs Little Alex Horne to help him out
- Alex is happy to oblige
- Rachel knows and is cool with it
- Touch-Starved
- OR IS IT
- is it just me writing greg a love letter
- or is it alex
- I guess we'll never find out
- spoilers it's both
- Love Letters
- Love
- Body Worship
- Body Positivity
- Prose Poem
- Poetry
- Doctor/Patient
- Doctor Kink
- bum problems
- Prostate Milking
- Ejaculate
- Full Body Orgasm
- human table
- Human Furniture
- Dom!Rhod
- Submission
- Service Submission
- Safewords
- Safeword Use
- fluffier than you think
- Alternate Universe - Pirate
- Captain!Greg
- Wench!Alex
- Gift Giving
- A good fuck
- Greg treats Alex like a rag doll and Alex fucking loves it
- They're In Love Your Honor
- Alternate Universe - Pirates
- Sleeping Together
- Holding Hands
- Bruises
- sucking
- Licking
- the boys are in love and being fucking cute
- Tooth-Rotting Fluff
- Deepthroating
- First Time Blow Jobs
- Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
- Rough Oral Sex
- prose
- Drabble
- Drabble Collection
- Fluff and Smut
- Domestic Fluff
- but not literal blood
- Sex
- Ownership
- Making Love
- Service Kink
- Comedy
- comedy ha ha
- ribbon emoji
- Face Slapping
- in canon
- Possession
- Hugging
- Camping
- Taskmaster!Greg
- LAH
- Little Alex Horne
- Sub Alex Horne (British Comedy RPF)
- jester!alex
- King!Greg
- Orgasm Control
- Humiliation Kink
- Gags
- Creampie
- Greg in a dress
- Training Kink
- Pinning him against the wall
- Dancing
- Dog treat
- king/jester
- Throne Room
- First Meeting
- the king is sad - someone should fix that
- pan-coded because greg is attracted to the silliness
- Come Eating
- dance for me!
- people think greg is scary but he's a giggly goof
- Forced Masturbation
- Voice Kink
- Crossdressing
- Forced Crossdressing
- Throne Sex
- humiliation via physical comedy
- Massage
- Intimacy
- Costume Parties & Masquerades
- Fountain sex
- garden sex
- sex in the water
- partner dancing
- Masks
- forced confessions
- alex sings a song
- the softest aftercare
- top!Greg
- Forced Eye Contact
- Light Bondage
- tied wrists
- first of may
- Outdoor fucking starts today
- inspired by a Jonathan Coulton song
- dogging
- is apparently what it's called in the UK
- you learn something new every day
- Group Sex
- Orgy
- Poly
- eating ass
- Rimming
- Cake
- Whipped Cream
- Birthday Cake
- Frosting
- birthday blow job
- s6e10
- Smut Drabble
- Throne Fucking
- Dom/sub
- wet dreams
- Shoe Kink
- shoe licking
- Pet Play
- monster fucking
- Darkness
- Begging
- Tentacle Sex
- Tentacle Sucking
- Tentacle Monsters
- Nipple Play
- Nipple Torture
- i mean it's not torture but it's somewhere between the two
- Boat Date
- fear of storms
- Comfort
- greg's scared of storms and alex makes it all better
- Longing
- Miscommunication
- Whump
- Angst
- Unrequited Love
- Confessions
- Denial
- Unhappy Ending
- Heartbreak
- i actually do ship greg and nick i just wanted to write angst and heartbreak
- S17 Spoilers
- S17E10 spoilers
- Pandemic - Freeform
- hand holding
- physical touch
- Vulnerability
- greg misses physical touch and asks alex for a favor
- it's very cute ok
- in-universe canon
- cute boys being cute
- Drabbles
- Pet Names
- Bodyguard AU
- bodyguard!greg
- Taskmaster!Alex
- Role Reversal
- Action film vibes
- Guns
- Bullets
- Dangerous Situations
- Dirty Talk
- sexy talk
- Bath Sex
- neck biting
- I mean not really. Greg loves Alex. he just doesn’t want to go home with him tonight
- Hooking up
- sexually charged situations
- Greg and Nick go hook up and Alex is sad
- Rhod attempts to help
- Puppets
- Portraits
- Dolls
- Doll!Alex
- doll!Greg
- portrait!Greg
- silhouette!Alex
- silhouette!Greg
- puppet!Alex
- puppet!Greg
- weathervane!Alex
- weathervane!Greg
- Jesus christ this is a lot of tags
- In our lovely home together
- Taskmaster VR
- practicing kissing
- drunkenly making out
- Elevators
- making out in an elevator
- horny boys in love
- Large Cock
- Alex has a huge dick
- that's it that's the fic
- Lube
- twelve inch dick
- Humor
- Dom Greg Davies
- Soft Dom Greg Davies
- gentle domination
- Oral Sex
- Orgasm Denial
- Alternate Universe - Royalty
- Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale
- Alternate Universe - Historical
- Developing Relationship
- Eventual Smut
- wow that escalated quickly
- Platonic BDSM
- Taskmaster Hotel
- Hotels
- Hotel Sex
- Power Dynamics
- top!Qrs
- top!Rhod
- who will win?
- Sexual Tension
- background greg/alex
- Rhod plays with Alex sometimes too
- Making a mess
- Alternative Universe - Monsters
- Werewolves
- Alternate Universe - Werewolf
- monster cock
- Alternate Universe - Magic
- Greg is a stone giant
- Alex is a wood nymph
- Rut Season
- catch the skyrim reference
- Mad Scientists
- Face Sitting
- Clone Sex
- it only happens once
- Bratting
- Intercrural Sex
- Restraints
- Come
- So much come
- Deep Throating
- Astral Projection
- Changing Room Sex
- podcasts
- Fanfiction
- Amnesia
- Hurt No Comfort
- Hurt
- Sad
- Sad Ending
- Deal with a Devil
- Curses
- Fear
- Forgetting
- Memory Loss
- Loss
- no one dies
- it's just very sad
- Background Poly
- Erectile Dysfunction
- Grinding
- Rutting
- Kink
- Kink Event
- public events
- Leather
- Harness
- Public Sex
- performance anxiety
- Safe Spaces
- Public Nudity
- negotiation
- Communication
- Rope Bondage
- floggers
- BDSM stuff like that
- Cages
- cocks
- asscheeks
- so many butts you guys
- Body odor
- trans!alex
- Fingering
- Vaginal Fingering
- short skirts
- property of Greg
- finger licking
- Praise
- Cock Cages
- Delayed Orgasm
- Edging
- Alex is being a little shit
- Greg is putting him in his place
- Fluff without Plot
- Fisting
- Anal Fisting
- gagging
- Threesomes
- Anxiety
- Choose Your Own Adventure
- chapter 2 is whump ending
- chapter 3 is happy ending
- happy endings
- sad endings
- Rejection
- Acceptance
- Grief
- Polyamory
- Polyamory Negotiations
- idk how to tag this but greg ignores alex while he's sucking him off and alex loves it
- ED!Greg
- neglect play
- is the only tag i can find for this
- it's loving tho
- Alternate Universe - Soulmates
- Soulmates
- Yearning
- Snogging
- Fanart
- TM NZ Season 5 spoilers
- TM NZ S5E7 spoilers
- Gum - Freeform
- gum chewing
- Gum swapping
- swapping spit
- nicotine mention
- Nicotine Gum
- Alternate Universe - Science Fiction
- Finding A Cure
- Aphrodisiacs
- Basically
- 69 (Sex Position)
- Multiple Sex Positions
- Anal
- fucking like rabbits
- Lab coats
- not really but it's my kink okay
- getting messy in the lab
- did i lose track of how many orgasms they had
- yes - Freeform
- yes i did
- Lust
- jekyll & hyde vibes
- jekyll & hyde references
- sex on the counter
- Angels
- Star Trek - Freeform
- Spaceships
- Mermaids
- gravekeepers
- Devils
- Zombies
- Actors
- Comedians
- Tailors
- lighthouse keepers
- barbers
- Marine Biologists
- Doctors
- Monsters
- Royalty
- Artists
- cartoons
- Models
- Shakespeare
- Sherlock - Freeform
- Frankenstein - Freeform
- Night at the Museum - Freeform
- Oracle - Freeform
- Dungeons and Dragons
- Minotaur - Freeform
- Elf
- locksmith - Freeform
- All of illuminescences aus
- masterclass in sex
- BDSM elements
- Good Boy
- Threats
- Sex Education
- dom/sub dynamics
- d/s dymanics
- Rough Sex
- Porn With Plot
- Kinks
- Free Use Kink
- Pup Play
- D/s
- Lingerie
- Anal Plugs
- Vibrators
- Watersports
- Piss kink
- scat play
- Ageplay
- Size Kink
- half of these are just mentions
- specifically piss scat tentacles size kink orgasm denial and ageplay
- mouth ring
- Spit Kink
- spit
- drool
- Saliva
- bottom!Greg
- Hair-pulling
- Swearing
- Daddy Kink
- Light Spanking
- Over the Knee
- spoilers for S18E1
- lots of episode easter eggs
- spit bubbles
- Blood Kink
- minor cut
- papercut
- Finger Sucking
- winking
- i know it’s not sanitary but do you see my vision
- sleeping over
- sleepover
- Bedtime Routine
- sexual awakening
- in which jeremy realizes he’s hot for paul
- alternate universe - get smart
- get smart - Freeform
- inspired by get smart
- Detectives
- Action
- basically it’s just a get smart episode
- puns
- cliches
- Handcuffs
- Spies
- secret agents
- Alternate Universe - Spies
- Secret Organizations
- Paul in a dress
- Sex Tape
- Movie Night
- 69ing
- tit fucking
- Spit As Lube
- Emotions
- Kinda
- alternate universe - gold miners
- Alternate Universe - Different Meeting
- Gold Rush
- Cohabitating
- Cultural Differences
- vaseline as lube
- Spooning
- Illness
- weight loss
- Nicknames
- Emotional Hurt/Comfort
- Temporary Character Death
- dom!jeremy
- Sub!Paul
- Silk - Freeform
- mention of bdsm impact toys like floggers and whips and such
- sex dungeon
- BDSM dungeon
- touch starved
- sensual touching
- pup!paul
- Chains
- Stepping on Someone
- idk how to tag that one sorry
- Straddling
- surprise orgasm
- idk how to tag this either jfc
- anyway paul comes without realizing it
- its cute ok just go with it
- Touching
- Premature Ejaculation
- Cockwarming
- canon touch-averse Jeremy
- rose matafeo voice: JUST KISS
- Sexting
- spoilers for TM AU S3E3
- greater tom reads out lesser tom’s sexts idk how to tag this i’m sorry
- Rarepair
- Tattoos
- First Tattoo
- finger tattoos
- knuckle tattoos
- matching tattoos
- innuendos
- fake blow jobs
- Teasing
- spoilers for TM UK S18E4
- Condoms
- spoilers for TM UK S18E4 Outtakes
- Punishment
- but the sexy kind that alex craves
- Sex In A Dressing Room
- Birthday Sex
- fantasies
- Sex Videos
- humping
- using pillows to masturbate
- smell kink
- is that even a thing
- Free Use
- Prenegotiated Kink
- Dungeon
- thrusting dildos
- Orgasm Delay
- soft!dom nick
- five people come on alex's dick idk how to tag this im sorry
- jizz
- Spunk
- Bodily Fluids
- assless chaps
- crotchless chaps
- Hair Pulling
- face fucking
- Snuggling
- crying (from happiness)
- Smut and Fluff
- Wholesome af
- punishment (it’s not much of a punishment tbh)
- Hands-free Orgasm
- coming in your pants
- Titty Fucking
- Sex Positions
- Alternate Universe - Grim Reaper
- grim reaper!alex
- Death
- no character death in this fic just exposition
- Bargaining
- using sex as bargaining
- Drunk Dancing
- ed’s wedding
- bring me the head of the taskmaster
- this one goes out to those perverts on the internet
- Strip Tease
- Thongs - Freeform
- lap dance
- undernegotiated bdsm
- it all works out don’t worry
- Alcohol
- Threesome
- reading sexts aloud for your taskmaster
- probably idk
- Cuckolding
- mention of blow jobs
- mention of anal fingering
- mention of anal sex
- Dreams
- Nightmares
- Bad Dreams
- something something freud
- Innuendoes
- Dates
- Filth
- just absolute filth
- I am so sorry
- I guess technically?
- Gym Sex
- Declarations Of Love
- Angst and Fluff
- Learning something new
- rhys teaches tom how to eat ass
- Being In Love
- Play Parties
- sub!Jeremy
- implied sex
- alternative universe
- alternative universe - drama teacher and music director
- Musicals
- drama teacher greg
- music director alex
- references Jekyll & Hyde
- High School Teachers
- Singing
- Shut Up Kiss
- Cuck chair
- TM UK S18E10 spoilers
- Poly Relationship
- brief mention of Rachel
- Bondage
- ropes
- Marking
- Somnophilia
- don’t worry it’s all consensual
- Centaur
- Horns As Handles
- monster!Greg
- Deep Conversations
- Negative Thoughts
- kind of implied poly relationship
- Stockings
- Embarrassment
- references s10e02
- too late
- Character Death
- Dentistry
- dentist!Greg
- Dentist AU
- Inappropriate Erections
- Hands in Mouth
- Oral Fixation
- Ejaculation
- Road Trip
- Sleep talking
- Semi-Public Blow Jobs
- it’s okay they don’t get caught
- Alternate Universe - Scientists
- lockdown - Freeform
- but it’s not lab sex if it’s not in a lab right
- Awkward Flirting
- Silly Boys
- Affection
- silly photo booth pictures
- Boys Kissing
- Different Meeting
- intercrural sex as punishment
- Fake Dating
- Set during Series 18
- Brief appearances of S18 contestants
- Mutual Pining
- Misunderstandings
- Food
- sleeping
- Tickling
- Kneeling
- Mental Breakdown
- Hugs
- Texting
- Background Relationships
- Minor Greg Davies/Alex Horne
- Porn Without Plot
- Plot What Plot
- Gratuitous Smut
- No Lube We Die Like Men
- Rawdogging it
- Other tags to be added
- Groping
- Innuendo
- under the desk blow jobs
- Alex in a skirt
- why? because i can
- Alternate Universe - Ghosts
- Ghost Fucking
- ??? - Freeform
- does this count as aftercare
- Vaping
- spoilers for their 2025 NYC trip
- fanfic mention
- Meta Fic
- these boys truly out here just reading fanfic on national television
- where is our Greg don't read this tag
- I don't mind it
- in fact my throat still hurts from screaming
- love you all
- happy to be your official moderator of assmaster dot com
- or whatever the fuck he called me
- nyc premiere spoilers
- wanking in the shower
- nyc premiere
- Couch Sex
- brief mention of rachel horne
- Banter
- Nudes
- Nude Photos
- brief mention of negative body image
- Finishing Inside
- Laundry day
- Mututal Masturbation
- Domestic smut
- morgana robinson was onto something with that dryer
- or was it a washer
- very briefly though
- Skinny Dipping
- Sharing Body Heat
- ultra super meta
- reading fanfic to each other
- this is a callout post
- hi guys glad you liked my fic
- romantic walk around the park
- Central Park
- body heat
- getting drunk
- Drunken idiots
- blizzard
- snowstorm
- Body Warmth
- Idiots in Love
- Body Image
- Self-Esteem Issues
- cuddling for warmth
- Anniversary
- Drunkenness
- Drunken Kissing
- Drunken Confessions
- Whiskey Dick
- fairy tale
- married
- Husbands
- almost getting caught
- getting caught
- Public Masturbation
- Age Play
- sexual age play
- alternate universe - wild west
- Wild West AU
- Bathing/Washing
- Bathtubs
- Outlaw!Alex
- sheriff!greg
- Toxic Relationship
- Unhealthy Power Dynamics
- Canon Typical Behavior
- Insomnia
- Smoking
- fluffing
- Dom/sub Undertones
- Canon Typical
- directed masturbation
- caught wanking
- Breaking Furniture
- dear diary
- Eldritch
- Eldritch Horror
- Epistolary
- Long-Distance Relationship
- writing letters
- Boys In Love
- Self-Hatred
- Truth or Dare
- Hand & Finger Kink
- Under-negotiated Kink
- Prostate Massage
- Dry Orgasm
- Insecurity
- banter sections
- taskmaster lore
- just greg taking the piss
- Wrist Injury
- kink negotiations
- Safewording
- ankle restraints
- Intense Bondage
- Paddling
- Sadomasochism
- Underwear as a Gag
- spreader bar
- Choke Collars
- Hands Free Orgasm
- Bruising
- Open Relationship
- dictating sex
- Undressing
- Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting
- Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic
- Falling In Love
- Slow Dancing
- Enemies to Lovers
- Magic
- Enemies to Friends to Lovers
- War
- Battle
- getting shot with an arrow
- Major Character Injury
- Major character death - Freeform
- Safety
- Vignette
- life on a barge
- s15
- Breakup
- Crush
- Hurt and comfort
- Untitled Goose Game - Freeform
- goose pov
- Idk what to tag this as
- just good clean fun
- Surprises
- tom gets hurt
- its okay hes fine
- Alternate Universe - Priests
- Priests
- Vocabularyclept
- hexes
- Witch - Freeform
- magic spells
- getting off from words alone
- Lost Memories
- Confusion
- Unresolved Ending
- Dating
- PDA
- First Date
- series 18 wrap party
- Implied Relationship
- fucking a stuffed animal
- talk about masturbation
- dom/sub dynamic
- Series 5
- time lapse
- Cunnilingus
- really really good oral sex
- Surprise Relationship
- Trust
- Sex Swing
- Birthday Orgy
- Eating Together
- Domestic Relationship
- Undernegotiated Kink
- but not in a bad way
- Friends to Lovers
- or friends to something
- pup!Alex
- Stripping
- Card Games
- Pick Up Lines
- Come as Lube
- twist ending
- i honestly don’t know what other tags i need for this so here you go
- Trapped in an Elevator
- sweating
- NYC
- friends to something
- Established Dynamic
- there’s no actual sex but good lord
- but in the way that it’s incredibly silly and adorable and hilarious
- Trans Character
- PIV Sex
- cunninglingus
- Penis In Vagina Sex
- being silly
- Theme Parks
- Disney World
- date
- Spin the Bottle
- s18 wrap party
- Holiday
- Vacation
- bonus points if you catch the young frankenstein musical reference
- Podcast
- Notfic
- Audio Content
- Interviews
- Fandom
- Taskmaster - Freeform
- Taskmaster UK
- Audio Format: Streaming
- Podfic Length: 1-1.5 Hours
- remote control butt plug
- Vibrator
- Dressing Room Sex
- Sex Appeal
- a silly fic in which greg is sexy
- Background Polyamory
- Crack
- i mean does this even qualify as crack
- Blind Date
- Dinner Date
- Tension
- idk if that's the right word but basically this is a fic about how alex is hot
- Internalized Homophobia
- LGBT
- figuring out you’re queer
- Hopeful Ending
- i fucking hate this version of greg but it’s for bingo so here you go
- didn't mean for this to turn into the whole
- characters go to therapy while talking to each other
- but here we are
- Cruise Ship
- cooking together
- Friends With Benefits
- not quite fluff and not quite smut
- but something in between
- Paint Night
- Date Night
- getting naked
- Body Paint
- implied sexual relationship
- assembling furniture together
- casual crush
- Service Bottom
- Blow Job
- Genderbend
- gender discussion
- Trans Discussion
- Drag
- Eyeliner
- S16 cast
- gender swap
- Trans Women Are Women
- Trans Men are Men
- you don’t need makeup or a dress to be a woman
- if you feel like a woman you are one
- congratulations it’s that simple
- Break Up
- Getting Back Together
- Secret Relationship
- keeping secrets
- Moving In Together
- Commitment
- Thunderstorms
- Phobia
- Secret Relationships
- established relationships - Freeform
- Making a Bet
- s18
- Implied Smut
- Fade to Black
- pretending to be sick to get pampered
- Injury
- wound
- Hospital
- honestly other than the blood it’s a cute fic
- I promise
- deserted island
- stuck together
- Alternate Universe - Computer Program
- Sexy Costumes
- mean girls reference
- revealing clothing
- s12
- Implied sexual acts
- Alternate Universe – Different Meeting
- alternate universe – video dating
- vhs
- Video Tapes
- Video Dating
- Love at First Sight
- s10
- Bucket List
- is this crack idk
- I’ve lost track of what’s happening
- Stand Up Comedy
- Drinking
- Hot Tub
- hey juliet by lmnt
- Karaoke
- bad singing
- silly men being silly
- Magic trick gone wrong
- First Time In Drag
- Makeup
- Heels
- Dress
- put that man in a dress
- Alex in a dress
- he is beautiful
- Fairies
- Alternate Universe - Office Workers
- Office Romance
- Working Late
- spending the night
- Gang Bang
- sexual fantasies
- Doggy Style
- orgasm from words alone
- Podfic Length: 45-60 Minutes
- Alternate Universe - Roman Empire
- emperor!greg
- servant!Alex
- here i go again with water metaphors
- Omegaverse
- Alpha!Greg
- Alpha!Alex
- Medications
- Trans Themes
- Crossover
- panel shows
- lots of references
- game show
- drag bingo
- just the lads supporting each other
- Jealousy
- covid series
- what do you mean self worth isn’t intrinsically connected to the amount of shit you do
- who’s projecting not me
- So much kissing
- series 6 kiss
- Time Travel
- Time Loop
- Topping from the Bottom
- seemingly endless amounts of energy
- Series 7
- Fighting
- Making Up
- Cucking
- Possessiveness
- alex being bossy
- greg secretly likes it
- that’s it that’s the fic
- Idk what else to tag I’m sorry
- scented candles
- Flowers
- red lace panties
- Caught in the Act
- can’t stop thinking about it
- Confrontations
- Gifts
- in universe roles
- they are actually insane
- Coworkers to Lovers
- exposed to be dating
- Body Swap
- pay no attention to the time zone differences
- Adventures
- Parallel Universe
- Light Angst
- Third Wheel
- Wishful Thinking
- alternate universe - college students
- Fake Kiss
- Fake Relationship
- In Universe
- D/s Dynamics
- pre-TM Alex
- just doing lots of thinking
- roleplaying
- steaming up a car
- sorry it took so long to write the picking alex up from a bar fic
- Crack Fic
- Crack Treated Seriously
- Henry Hoover
- Alternate Universe - Historical Setting
- sailor!alex
- kraken!greg
- Tentacle Porn
- Strangers to Lovers
- monsterfuckers
- Mind Link
- Telepathy
- like so much snogging
- Porn
- Horse cock
- horse dildo
- Horse puns
- horse porn
- fellas is it gay to share your horse dildo obsession with your friends
- catch the divinity original sin 2 quote
- inspired by baba yaga
- Horror
- Light Horror
- Light Humiliation
- Shotgunning
- Fingers in Mouth
- pet play taken seriously
- Loyalty
- Alex Horne you can read this
- Pranks
- love letter
- idk how to tag this
- It’s like
- but not really
- not quite angst
- not quite fluff
- Somewhere in between
- Future Fic
- catch the chorus line reference
- Melancholy
- Clones
- Implied Death
- Lore - Freeform
- minor injury
- Fluffier than the tags make it sound
- it's all good fun
- Hospitals
- Surgery
- no one dies but jesus christ
- gotta talk your feelings out boys
- Daydreams
- fucking on stage
- these boys truly just out here saying shit
- go listen to alex’s ep on the transformative taskmaster podcast
- Canon
- sorry if you listen on anything but youtube
- theres a weird 10min silence at the end
- we don't know why
- Hand Kink
- Dick Pics
- only because alex is so tired
- Light Smut
- Promises
- breath play
- in-universe
- Hickies
- implied breath play
- implied choking
- Double Date
- Under the table hand job
- Football
- Sports
- desperately kissing
- Clothes On
- Canon typical pet names
- FTM
- t-boy dick
- Lap Sitting
- Laboratories
- Inspired by Frankenstein
- brief mentions of blood and body parts
- nothing too gory
- Creatures
- sucking cock
- Swallowing
- Did I mention praise kink
- pretty sure this is the longest bj scene i’ve ever written
- anyway happy s19
- Stimming
- Stim Toys
- but it’s for the panic attack
- healthy relationship
- Supportive partner
- Wrestling
- In Love
- situational bondage
- i think is what it’s called
- rawdogging
- this task was kinky idk what to tell you
- spoilers for s19e1
- S19E1 spoilers
- i mean not really a spoiler
- More of a Reference
- bless those ad breaks
- but through clothes
- Clothed Sex
- Coming In Pants
- possessive
- Hickeys
- Rough treatment
- Group chat
- text chain
- thirst traps
- sexy pictures
- just good old fun
- s19 outtakes
- S19 Spoilers
- ghost loads
- sucking dick in a closet
- Hiccups
- BAFTAs
- baftas 2025 spoilers
- tearaway suit
- inappropriately turning someone on
- yes i had jason turn on a dime
- because he’s american
- boot kink
- switch - Freeform
- shoe rutting
- implied smoking
- vague religious themes
- I know I KNOW
- Who am I
- Sick Fic
- s19
- Crushes
- Concussions
- s19e3
- Big Dicks
- Hands
- fingers - Freeform
- thumb sucking
- sexier than it sounds
- Finger kink
- tongue
- Monster!Alex
- Smoke Monster
- Heat Stroke
- breath of life
- Wind God
- Clouds
- nightmare!alex
- you've heard of nightmare!greg now get ready for
- wind god!alex
- s19e4 spoilers
- Podfic Length: 30-45 Minutes
- ad breaks
- implied anal fingering
- implied orgasm
- Outtakes
- losing a bet
- writer!Alex
- fictional character!greg
- based on City of Angels
- Queer Characters
- Action/Romance
- Assassins
- Film Noir
- Arguments
- Name Calling
- slow burn what’s that
- Fastest Burn ever
- Arguing
- Podfic Length: 1.5-2 Hours
- Master/Servant
- Clonecest
- alex clones - Freeform
- taskmaster mansion
- Implied Relationships
- Light Choking
- Self-imposed Orgasm Denial
- self-imposed orgasm delay
- Giving Orders
- writing on your body
- prize task
- top!James
- Bottom!Ed
- Daddy/boy dynamic
- Leg Humping
- what the fuck was that episode mat
- i know this isn’t how it went down
- this is a parallel dimension okay
- Fanfic
- getting off to fanfic
- brief mention of degradation kink
- Safe Word Discussion
- no safe words were used in the making of this fic
- edible shoes
- Alex POV
- Neglect
- Unconditional Love
- Submissive
- Belting
- brother these throws to ad breaks are getting out of hand
- they’re very happy together thank you
- Sweat
- Healthy Relationships
- yes that’s what i’m fucking tagging it as
- it might as fucking well be
- Glastonbury
- sex in a risky place
- chest fucking
- chocolate cake
- Force Feeding
- Coming Untouched
- Degradation Kink
- getting messy
- Belly Kink
- Vampires
- Fantasy
- Suicidal Ideation
- Depression
- Trauma
- noncon
- dubcon
- conflicted feelings
- undercommunication
- Bloodlust
- blood sucking
- Unprotected Sex
- Healing
- Podfic Length: 2-2.5 Hours
- Rituals
- sensory depravation
- wrist restraints
- Watching
- Intoxication
- drunk alex is an idiot
- Implied poly relationship
- aka rachel is cool with it
- Potatoes
- the potato episode
- Podfic Length: 20-30 Minutes
- but with a dick
- idk how to tag that
- Throat Fucking
- not the fun kind
- Snot
- No Safeword
- Hate fucking
- No Aftercare
- Abusive Relationship
- Cock Slapping
- video call
- Long Distance Relationship
- vacation sex
- open communication
- Gentle Dom
- greg makes a mould of his dick
- mention of a vape
- spoilers it’s not a vape
- Remote control toys
- more like the intention of swallowing
- Mention of vomit but no actual vomit
- O-ring
- Mouth Gags
- Spitting
- there’s a lot of spit
- it’s gross i’m sorry
- Mind Reading
- Dirty Thoughts
- by proxy
- it was supposed to be smut oops
- despite the fade to black this is so much smut
- envy - Freeform
- Manhandling
- Possessive Sex
- sex against a door
- semi-public
- messy sex
- Loneliness
- Mirror Sex
- slime!greg
- Forced Orgasm
- it’s like nightmare!greg but a slime?
- idk anymore
- Slime As Lube
- but it’s slime
- slime jobs?
- what are these tags
- odo ass motherfucker
- Raising money for charity
- on camera kissing
- kissing with tongue
- technically
- almost canon
- Quiet Sex
- sex in a public place
- almost
- Hand Over Mouth
- pinned up against the wall
- toothrotting fluff
- risky places
- s20 spoilers
- Alternate Universe - SciFi
- scifi
- Science Fiction
- Aperture Science
- Portal - Freeform
- based on portal
- Roughhousing
- Sexual Fantasy
- outfit swap
- spoilers for tmnz s6e10
- Banter Section
- spoilers for s20 outtakes
- spoilers for s20
- Haiku
- Slurs
- Harassment
- Sexual Harassment
- Violence
- physical violence
- verbal assault
- Abuse
- Hitting
- Slapping
- Belittlement
- Degradation
- CPR
- Gay Sex
- Blushing
- pain play
- D/s relationship
- Cock Worship
- shoe worship
- Stupid decisions
- Mistakes
- Getting high
- Mushrooms
- cum
- Words:
- 572,090
- Works:
- 486
- Bookmarks:
- 10